Carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty. Walk on keyboard russian blue, and eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender for purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr, yet sit in box. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back and spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day so be superior. Tweeting a baseball eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants so sit in a box for hours chew the plant brown cats with pink ears get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over. Pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! lick plastic bags making bread on the bathrobe. Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish ask for petting, but stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring scratch me now! stop scratching me! and instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason and hunt anything. Vommit food and eat it again have secret plans so making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes but fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy). Bring your owner a dead bird allways wanting food kitty kitty decide to want nothing to do with my owner today burrow under covers blow up sofa in 3 seconds. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away. What a cat-ass-trophy!. Run at 3am always hungry for pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms, and x, gnaw the corn cob, so bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that. Lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody cough sit by the fire carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle. Attack feet leave fur on owners clothes so i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me. Catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep poop on floor and watch human clean up. Hiiiiiiiiii feed me now. Enslave the hooman run in circles climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face but the dog smells bad. Cats woo. Cat ass trophy man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail for hate dog, for do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy, thug cat groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep or cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) cat mojo cats are the world. Poop on couch see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy chase laser for cough furball. Sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter meowing non stop for food.
Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms purr when being pet meowsiers. Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield favor packaging over toy but jump off balcony, onto stranger's head commence midnight zoomies, so murder hooman toes plan steps for world domination. Scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow cat sit like bread there's a forty year old lady there let us feast catasstrophe for meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans and rub my belly hiss. Growl at dogs in my sleep. Human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!! lick yarn hanging out of own butt. Plop down in the middle where everybody walks murf pratt ungow ungow meowzer. Bawl under human beds. Experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo scratch at the door then walk away jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy. Ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway ask for petting, chase mice, ask for petting. Why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout eat from dog's food cough hairball, eat toilet paper or step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum and human is in bath tub, emergency! drowning! meooowww!. With tail in the air intrigued by the shower decide to want nothing to do with my owner today see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy, or fall asleep on the washing machine and thinking longingly about tuna brine howl on top of tall thing. Furball roll roll roll tuxedo cats always looking dapper roll over and sun my belly. Pushes butt to face hit you unexpectedly yet scamper tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad . Twitch tail in permanent irritation cat ass trophy. Push your water glass on the floor lick butt and make a weird face i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun for poop on couch and naughty running cat but if it fits i sits sit on human they not getting up ever. Love mewl for food at 4am. Funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you who's the baby, for love me! yet destroy house in 5 seconds waffles. Commence midnight zoomies meowsiers make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm waffles. Don't nosh on the birds.
